Second in a series of helpful how-to posts.

Last time we talked about how to get shitloads of dramacoin the old-fashioned way, but what if you're a lazy piece of shit and you just want to get lots of DC quickly? Enter gambling: this top secret backdoor is a way to rapidly unlock thousands of coins that would otherwise have required tedious hours of quality posting.

The casino here offers several different games of chance: roulette, slots, blackjack and the lottershe. For our purposes, we're only concerned with slots because that's the best one to shit up threads with publicly. If you post !slots1234 (or w/e number) you'll wager that much money on your post. If you win, just like at the casino in Monaco or Macao, lots of other people will see you win and they'll think you're cool and want to have sex with you. It's just like Monte Carlo, except instead of lucky gamblers shagging models in their lambos, you'll have dramautists crawling up in your DMs begging to suck your cock for DC. (This is true even if you don't have a cock or you've deprecated it, damautists won't check before they promise the succs-for-bucks)

Okay, so with that out of the way, how do you rack up impressive winnings like mine?

The number one secret is only gamble when you're pretty sure you're going to win.

If you've got a good feeling, or you're on a hot streak, or you're posting in a lucky thread: lots of rare Marseys, or golden flashing ones, or if everyone else is already winning big, you should try to get in on that action, too.

Sometimes you are going to lose, and that's just how chance works. The other important thing is make small bets when you're going lose and save your biggest bets for the ones that will pay off. For example, maybe you lose two or three 300 DC bets, but that will just angry up Chaos because she knows you're not serious and you're betting like a pussy. So then as an apology you'll want to bet big, like 5, 10, 15,000 to show you mean it - but don't do it unless you're going to win. If you keep winning 10,000 DC bets and losing 200 DC ones, you can see how the math works out.

Try to get in good with random number generators. The Mersenne Twister and I go way back: we used to fool around back in college and it was all basically innocent but everyone knows Twister has always been a little kinky and it's true. If you get on her good side, she will pay off in spades. Not that many people understand this, but gambling on a computer pretty much comes down to /dev/random and so if random numbers love you, then you will consistently win at gambling.

If all those tips don't work, and you're still a loser, you should try praying. Specifically, you should pray to become more like me...

...because being specially blessed and favored by the Lord God Almighty and her favorite boy, the Son of Man can come in handy in all walks of life, but one area where it especially pays off is at the slot machine.

Thank you. I will not be taking any questions from the panel. !wincels please explain it to the losers if they don't understand.

Some highlights

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/JwGLGBkjyf

Prostitute I think. Might be the most useful person here

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/LEUuEfgoDT

Propagandist

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/rFuVz2OvtO

Wants to make propaganda videos

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/Tv00LgzFiT

Wants to be a poet (very useful in an armed rebellion-the red army was known for their poetry corps).

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/h4xh344Qdw

Xe will post memes for the cause online (propagandist)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/C8r8mhyQ0j

Xe will make TikTok's for the cause

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/puZihmYMrA

Apparently there aren't enough communists posting shit online

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marxism_Memes/s/W5znEACzmZ

This king wants to start as the party commissar.

This is what a 21 year old Joe Biden voter looks like 🗳️ 💙 pic.twitter.com/AVzenJCgRt

— Olivia Julianna 🗳 (@0liviajulianna) May 7, 2024

It starts with a self-evident claim by Jackson Hinkle on Friday:

https://twitter.com/jacksonhinklle/status/1786500995620442513

Which upset this guy:

https://twitter.com/ChaosCharza/status/1786519330760388812

Which got some dissent but the pedos are out in force:

https://twitter.com/smegmaboy9999/status/1786752358321393730

And turns into a longgg argument about whether DBZ is for pedos too:

https://twitter.com/GlitchyRom/status/1787166033066824157

At which point the loli enjoyer decided to escalate to retweets:

https://twitter.com/ChaosCharza/status/1787166097248075789

https://twitter.com/ChaosCharza/status/1787294984640610390

The girls there are from this last year:

https://twitter.com/ywuukii/status/1620196346123935745

Which leads me to an easy engagement-bait poll:

Are you a p-do if you prefer the girl on the right?

Why does the Retaurdian have mostly news about Trump? Is it run by the State Department radio free Europe style? It's Bongs' worst rag, worse than the Daily Mail by far.

!reportmaxxers

If you see this neighbor walking around you could be rich

The Trudeau regime has introduced an Orwellian new law called the Online Harms Bill C-63, which will give police the power to retroactively search the Internet for ‘hate speech’ violations and arrest offenders, even if the offence occurred before the law existed.
This new bill is… pic.twitter.com/4ROF332xR9

— Camus (@newstart_2024) May 7, 2024

The Trudeau regime has introduced an Orwellian new law called the Online Harms Bill C-63, which will give police the power to retroactively search the Internet for ‘hate speech' violations and arrest offenders, even if the offence occurred before the law existed.

This new bill is aimed at safeguarding the masses from so-called “hate speech.”

https://Revolver.news reports: The real shocker in this bill is the alarming retroactive aspect. Essentially, whatever you've said in the past can now be weaponized against you by today's draconian standards. Historian Dr. Muriel Blaive has weighed in on this draconian law, labeling it outright “mad.” She points out how it literally spits in the face of all Western legal traditions, especially the one about only being punished if you infringed on a law that was valid at the time of committing a crime.

https://thepeoplesvoice.tv/canada-to-imprison-anyone-who-has-ever-posted-hate-speech-online/

Albanian hoejabis are lost cause. They will keep inbreeding for other races but albanians no. pic.twitter.com/ejKHvKjHfr

— Albanian_monitor (@Albanoi_monitor) May 4, 2024

!catholics your thoughts?

@DahvieVanityFan how many north albanian women do you have in your harem?

.@Kotaku one of your writers @alyssa_merc is currently harrassing me and is now DMing my wife on Facebook.
This is completely unacceptable behavior and way out of bounds. Reprehensible.
Do you stand by this type of behavior?
CC: @Grummz pic.twitter.com/K07l0nt2oO

— Smash JT (@SmashJT) May 7, 2024

!coomers !g*mers

- 8 votes

- 6 votes

- 67 votes

Top post lol immediately "let's get him fired"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_sex_scandals_in_the_United_States#Grover_Cleveland

He also killed two people

https://t.co/5N1loGVn2f pic.twitter.com/lgKZXrgzdh

— Graham Manning (@GMCManning) May 6, 2024

people want to talk about that but not his famous quote as shown below. Breathtaking.

what it actually said

Immigration didn't work out too well for the native Indians

That was colonialism. Ya shoulda been more attentive in class 🤷‍♂️

Graham you are unwittingly making the argument against mass migration when you invoke what happened to the native tribes in America. You are arguing that people should stay where they are 🤣🤣👌 Welcome to the far right bud

Stefann only daft langers like you see that but ok 🤷‍♀️

Native Americans didn't live in Ireland. The Irish are the Natives

Where did I say they did?

Frick off yank

We never had native Americans in Ireland you spastic hahah

Classy ableism kid

Heya Hoya

We're sending everyone who posted this kind of meme to the third world.

Nope. You ain't doing shit but getting cross on the internet 🥱

"In the early stages of dementia, this lib boomer no longer has the ability to discern which is the appropriate stock libtard meme to apply to this specific political issue"

(https://twitter.com/KeyedFugo/status/1787639439004467218)

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Bunch of babies, who wants to be in their club anyways. (66)

You all seem to be pretty buthurt about not being in their club (-25)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

it's unfortunate that the democrats constantly silence the other half of the country on nearly every social media app, especially considering that social media is where political conversations take place in the current year. kinda hard to have a credible "democracy" when roughly half of the country is constantly banned from the political discussion. seems almost like election interference... (22)

Complains about being silenced. Let that sink in (-18)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn was able to write The Gulag Archipelago and get it published. I guess that means there was no censorship or government oppression in the Soviet Union? (8)

So if a guy can oppose Soviet oppression in Soviet Russia and live til 2008, you'll be fine on reddit. No one is censoring you. (-14)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

I want to be very clear. I wasn't even making a stance for or against abortion, I only mentioned that there are no restrictions on abortion in MN. It is a fact, including no parental involvement. People can agree or disagree with that as they see fit. All that to say yes, you are right, in that an absolute approach in either direction is not conducive to political success. It seems the candidate that can appeal to the majority (that believe in SOME restrictions) would likely fare best on thar issue (6)

Right or wrong, the abortion argument is about women's rights (and conveniently not about the rights of the unborn) and when the argument is about rights, people don't want them to get taken away. Any restrictions is a losing political battle. The pro life movement needs to understand this and change the narrative to 1) why killing anyone is bad and 2) that abortion doesn't hold men accountable, ultimately making women lose. (0)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

You're wrong I do care please write more (1)

Most of the dfl came out against stealing from a children's lunchbox. No one thinks it's acceptable except for the theives themselves. The gop are the only ones in the country that are trying to prevent laws outlawing child marriage. To quote trump in regards to invanka, his daughter "Yeah, she's really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren't happily married and, ya know, her father... ," The gop finances haven't recovered from losing his funding and the embarrassment."Lazzaro's 2021 arrest proved an embarrassment for the Minnesota Republican Party, for which he had become a major donor. Jennifer Carnahan, who had close ties to Lazzaro but denied any knowledge of his criminal activities, stepped down as state GOP chair a week after his arrest." https://m.startribune.com/lazzaro-former-gop-activist-sentenced-to-21-years-in-prison-for-s*x-trafficking/600295916/?clmob=y&c=n&clmob=y&c=n"The state Republican Party in Minnesota is also struggling financially, with a filing re... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡🔘

I think they look to see if you're in this sub and if so they'll ban you. I was banned from MN and mpls in same week. Unjustified reasons. No rules broken. I asked mods and no reply. Never been back since. 2 months less stress. Bunch of losers saying they won't go to pryes because they allowed a group of people to hang out and drink beer. No chanting or spreading their thoughts. Just chilling. I said "oh no, how will they survive" to a comment of someone cancelling their visit.  (3)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/dolphinvision

Score: 🐮🐮🐮🐮🔘

Number of comments: 5

Average angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

Maximum angriness: 😡😡😡😡🔘

Minimum angriness: 🔘🔘🔘🔘🔘

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining!

autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramautists. Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion

The final Red vs Blue thing is out and idk there's nothing much left besides that

!oldstrags @BWC @AverageBen10Enjoyer discuss

!ranchers !kino

a few days ago he posted a kendrick lamar video. it stuck out a lil bit but not much. maybe he's just entertained?

then a lil bit later i see him retweeting kendricks tweets

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1786456513373937820

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1786613168791339374

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1786621609647702176

then he finishes it off with this tweet:

(like that and not like us are both drake disses)

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1787653754164035741

is jack really just a kendrick stan? is he a good kid in a madd city?

well it turns out jack was dating taylor rooks at one point

[20240507_024811.jpg]

https://blacksportsonline.com/2022/02/twitter-co-founder-jack-dorsey-dating-bleacher-report-taylor-rooks/

then later on she starts modeling for drakes women's line

https://hiphopdx.com/news/drake-taylor-rooks-model-ovo-womens-wear

she's with an entirely different dude now but anyone who knows about drake knows he loves fricking other dudes hoes for some reason. did drake cuck jack?

Potter Payper been calling out Drake from time ‘he’s been messaging bare young girls in England’.

😭😭😭😭 Kendrick might’ve really done his homework on this one

Look at Billy’s face when he heard that pic.twitter.com/NNASniB8Qz

— TMC Music Connoisseur 🇯🇲 Els Stan. (@MusicConnoisseu) May 6, 2024

Don't hate the playa, hate the game:

Folks be victim blaming tho:

Also his house got shot up lol:

London bringing the heat:

!tmz

Tim Pool may be the most insecure man in media.

He can't survive without that beanie hiding his baldness. https://t.co/sD4RnfkauT pic.twitter.com/rEvuktzb1E

— Peter Henlein (@SwissWatchGuy) May 5, 2024

It's different for you dude

Such a balding b-word

https://nypost.com/2024/05/04/us-news/california-school-boss-fired-over-clapping-scandal/